Hear my words that I might teach you, – the song continues as we listen to it echo -out its truth. Silence like a cancer grows……
I write to free my body mind and spirit from the people places and things that I hold attachments too, that hinder my growth. The story that looms always on my mind, and within my heart. This wounded bird still sings… is what my writing brings. Letting out the words that I have held captive or found myself revolving round and round in. The twirling never ending battles that have no end in sight. Surrender, to truth is all I have left. The holding myself back from speaking my heart has been truly unfair of me to do to myself. Silence like a cancer grows. My mother died from lung cancer. Mom was diagnosed -terminal and given three months to live when I was 20 years old.
Keeping silent not speaking or living from our true heart space creates unbalance within the body mind and soul. Silence -the key that turns the lock on the cancer gene. Where the holding back of truths, take the body, mind and spirit hostage as it begins its insidious decent into the dark caves of our inner most temple, where our truth lives. Silence turns itself in the dark places, squeezing the inner light right out of us. This is why I write.
I had so very much to be grateful for growing up. Yet the story I write has many sides. I sure wish I could leave out the wounded parts. But, what would be the point of writing if I left the truth and the core of my voice out. I know to this point in my life, I have struggled with silence and so far it has held me in its repeating patterns, that fill me with tears that fall at the drop of a hat, and they fill me with fear as I try to reach for memories not tainted somehow by something that is laying dormant in my pain body to be exumed like dead bones.. digging up the bones of myself, body, heart and soul…I hurt and have felt abandoned, left, and ditched by life. While I have much to be grateful for, I also have much sadness and loss in my life. Since losing my mother, I have walked a very lonely road. My compass left this world much too soon. Depression flows in and out as I avoid the truths which hinder my light from leading me out into the world. Confusion lingers, in sadness I cry, weeping at lifes unfair happenings to me, a sweet girl.
Writing the stories right out of me, its what will heal my heart and close this chapter on my life. One written word at a time, doing the best that I can. Overcoming as I rid my life of the silence that like a cancer can grow. I know its personal root, that wrapped itself within my precious mother has a familiar calling that I will not allow any longer. Silence will not win, nor will it keep back the voice which calls forth to speak. Needing to be heard if only to myself, all in one perfect space, where I can lay it all to rest.
Silence took my mothers life. If the song is true. This is why I write.
Writing is the cure for silence that lives within my body, writing will exume its roots and burn ‘it’ in the light of day. Shared and cared for in loves sweet light. This is why I’ll write, and write and write… healing is my right. None should ever ask for my light to be put out. As if it or I never existed. I have participated in many lives through the years, helping and absorbing all I could. Its my turn now, to let it out. Speaking words which turn the key to a productive new life. This is my right and choice that works for me. I believe my writing not only helps me, but it helps others heal as much as myself. If you’re relating, than sweet soul, do not let the silence like a cancer grow,. Speak your truth… let it all out. One word at a time ♥